There was never any doubt around my house who was in charge.
My mother was great. She kept us in line, kept us fed, got us to church and made sure we looked presentable when we left for school but my dad was in charge! When we were told to do something, it was not up for debate; it was a mandate that something had better be done and pretty quick.
My dad never shied away from telling me the truth. He never really spared my feelings either, but I never doubted that he was on my side and that he had my back. This was demonstrated to me in a big way the summer that I turned 16. My first date. I was excited but very nervous. In fact, I was so nervous that I could not stop sweating. I took 4 showers that afternoon in preparation for the evening.
I got permission to borrow the family car, a 1977 Caprice Classic, and headed over to her house to pick her up. Everything was going great. We ate dinner at her house, where I got to meet her family and then we headed to the movie.
About halfway through the movie I had this sinking feeling that something was wrong and a sense of panic raced through my mind. Instinctively I started feeling my pockets and just as I had feared, there was nothing there. No keys! I had locked them in the car.
Thinking fast, I asked my date if she would care for anything from the concession stand, and headed to the lobby. Finding a pay phone, and having some change in my pocket, I felt like I at least had a chance to save the evening. I dialed the number to my house and prayed that someone would answer! After 4 tense rings, I heard the voice of my dad on the
phone. “Everything ok?" I humbly told him what had happened. He said, “Don’t worry, I’ll be there." I went back to the movie not really knowing exactly how this was going to play out.
The movie ended and we headed out of the theater, as we were walking past the people waiting in line for the next movie, I recognized a familiar face, my dad! He never said a word, never acknowledged me at all, but as I walked past him, he slipped me the spare key to the car. My date had no clue, no one did. It was the smoothest move ever!
Afterwards I thought of all the things that my dad could have said, all the things that I probably deserved to hear. But in that moment he understood what a nervous sixteen year old on his first date was going through and played it like a true champion.
The older I get, the more I appreciate this story. Don't get me wrong, my dad could be tough... but when it came down to it and when it really mattered, he had my back! I’ve never doubted for one second the love that he has always had for me!
Here's the takeaways:
1) Grace is great to receive! Don't forget to give it!
2) Trust will help your children see you as an asset!
Someone that they can count on when they are in need, not someone that they cower in
fear of and are afraid to talk to when they mess up.
3) Discipline is a byproduct of Love!
My dad had a standard that he held up to (discipline), but tempered it with love and understanding. He understood the predicament that I was in and was willing to bail me out.
4) Always have a spare key!!
Barry Ryan
TMD Writing Contributor
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