Why I Didn't Fully Regret Hurling My Daughter's Phone into the Wall

The Miss

I was not even mad. My goal was to simply prove a point.

But as I flung my 14 year old daughter, Bekah’s, $1,000 iPhone across the kitchen and into the den I realized there was probably a better way to get my point across. That feeling was validated the moment the phone missed the couch and landed against the wall.

While the initial act of me throwing her phone had the desired result of her going to the sink to finish washing the dishes, the unintended consequences would not be as ideal. As I walked over to inspect the damage, the cracked screen told me all I needed to know.

The ensuing conversation with my daughter was half apology and half lesson around if you do what you are supposed to there are less opportunities for problems. As we finished that discussion, the logical next question was, “Do I get another phone?”

While there are many points to consider with that question, my wife and I both knew that we would be getting her a replacement phone at some point.

An unintended benefit was this happened on a Wednesday evening before the start of Spring Break. The fact that we would all be together for the next several days felt like a good opportunity to not have to make any decisions quickly as the coordination between practices, school and other events would not be relevant for at least a week.

Erin, my wife, and I also committed that we would be intentional about not being on our phones as much over Spring Break. Traveling out of town a few days later for Spring Break had a different feel to it than our typical travel times.

We found ourselves talking more and finding old school games like car bingo to distract us from the monotony of driving. Due to our highly competitive game of bingo we were more focused on all the signs and surroundings. This allowed us to notice an advertisement for a local butcher shop that processed the beef from their fields.

After that stop and an introduction to the cows, we detoured again to an archery range where we spent the next couple of hours seeing who could perform the most like Robin Hood. Even though it was not mentioned, we all felt the freedom from not having constant connection to our phones.

Over the next few days we enjoyed not just our surroundings, but each other more. Even though my wife and I still picked up our phones to check on work and other responsibilities, we stayed fairly consistent in our commitment to not allow ourselves to be sucked into the easy distraction of our phones.

The Direct Hit

I believe it was dinner on Wednesday, exactly one week from the infamous phone toss, when our oldest said, “You know, I think this has been the best Spring Break we have ever had.”

Like an expert card player not wanting to give any insight, my wife and I stayed cool in our responses. However, like a team that had rigged the game, we both gave each other a knowing glance.

While Bekah did not mention it, Erin and I both knew there was one common thing that was different this Spring Break vs. all the others. And it was not just the absence of Bekah’s phone. She had only had hers for about a year at that point.

It was the absence of ours. Later that evening, after a competitive Monopoly game, Erin and I snuggled into bed. Now that we were outside of the watchful gaze of our children, we felt more free to discuss our accidental strategy of creating a somewhat phone free environment.

Realizing we had actually received a gift over these last few days, we both committed to hold onto our phones a little more loosely going forward. Erin also made me commit to thinking more before I tried to make a point.

While we had received a blessing from my accidental miss, phones are not inexpensive and at some point we would need to be replacing Bekah’s due to my miss! It is hard in todays world to stay off our phones. So much of the business of life is run through them.

But what Erin and I were reminded of over this last Spring Break is that the business of life is not the same as actually having a life. It is up to us as parents to help our kids not just know that, but experience it.

And hopefully without making a $1,000 mistake.

Blake Hamby

TMD Contributing Writer